I was abused as a child and into my late teens by my parents. I went to university but I was unable to complete it because I was not psychologically, socially and mentally prepared for a life independent from my controlling and abusive parents. My high school teachers groom confidence in brilliant students, as students like me were forgotten as we were unworthy of that kind of investment that intelligent students were. From this i knew you cannot depend on teachers or parents to guide you and therefore the harshest lessons will be unavoidable. Only the well-off are privileged to learn harsh lessons vicariously rather than directly.
I had no money and my parents would not let me drop out of school as they believed it would embarass them especially when everyone else in our family were affluent, well educated and well employed. My father was a manipulative violent man with a gambling addiction. My mother was dependent on him as he quashed every ounce of confidence she had to go to work an make her own money. My mother always chose my father over her kids and had a penchant for taking her anger out on the daughters of our family as she would always be too afraid to confront my father as well as my older brother who became more and more just like him.
I ran away because I lived a dystopian-like existence with my parents. No will, no permission to do anything, no love, no freedom, and no human dignity. When I left i settled with living with partner, and he abused me physically, sexually, financially, manipulated me all too familiar the things associated with my father but i thought it was always better than being homeless, eating uneaten or abandoned food from restaurants and grocery stores and freezing to death in the Canadian winter. All I needed was a job and a cheap place to rent. Not a program that would further mistreat me but a place that was closer to a home with a nurturing environment.
When I did find a job, it was really low wage, but luckily i found a nurturing home like environment from a family who charged rent to the amount i was able to pay for while able to afford school and local college classes and after a year I was able to go back to school almost full time, be a little bit more healthy in mind, body and spirit much better than i felt living in violence. A hotel even housed me and gave me a lower cost rent per month till i found a better place to reside, and not long (about 3 years after) i was able to pay more to the family even though sometimes they let me have a month of free rent.They treated me like i was one of their own children. but after moving out of there I was then able to live on my own.
If i ever get the chance to repay the kindness to the hotel and family who helped me out, I will do what they have done for people like me: 1) charge an appropriate amount of rent so that they can eat and go to school and afford nice things every once in a while 2) give free things like food or rent if i can as it was given to me unconditionally. 3) love, support and protect people who seek my help whether its a short stay of 1 month or 6 years, whatever will help them grow and become independent one day.
Consultation has concluded