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From a child my mom struggles to raise my brother and I. Back then she was on socal assistance and we livesmd in in tge farm hands house at my g.parents. she was dealing with ger own inner deamons as ibwas facing real life deamons. I started experiencing depression and cutting at 11 reaching out for help getting bullied in school etc. Buy 13 i hasd gull blown juivinile depression with suicidal tendencies. I was hospitalized i dont know how mant times by tge tine ibwas 15 thats when i started to self medicate with  crystal meth. Staying awake was alot better than experiencing the night terrors.  The abuse i sustained tge parental emotional neglect the drug abuse tge depression the contant worry about money i had placed on me atva tipping age. Im 32 now past 1.5 years really out of weed ork except a temp job i  too to cover my rising medication bills and catch up on mortgage unemployment pays 1700 a month tge average cost of living is arout 2500 a month. This increces my state of mania because i was so stressed my daughter comes first. November i was institutionalized because of my mental health ressons. Andbibagain fell behind on bills. Bybalw you can not collect 2 government supportd. By feb i was within a payment of my house going into forclosure. Unacknowledge that ive had my mortage insurance policy for more than 2 years and there is a clause stating after 2 years if i should pass from self injury or harm my home is paid off and lide insure pain iut. How bad it that my mind because of sever finacial hardship that im in id think if t ha t so my faught would be taken care of. Poverty runs deep taxes run high services get cut or become harder to access and a person with mental illness  and physical disabilities  wants to check out to secure her kis future

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